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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Luke and Roxanne each have 2, and Roy has 4.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Ooh.

SAGAL: Goodness gracious.

LUKE BURBANK: Whoa.

BLOUNT JR.: How did I do this?

SAGAL: All right, we have flipped a coin, and Roxanne has elected to go first. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, a State Department audit found that Hillary Clinton's use of blank violated government rules.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Email.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, President Obama announced that a drone strike had killed the leader of blank.

ROBERTS: The Taliban.

SAGAL: Right. On Monday...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the FBI began investigating the governor of blank for possible campaign violations.

ROBERTS: Virginia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The CDC announced this week that over 150 pregnant women in the U.S. are infected with blank.

ROBERTS: The Zika virus.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, the Secret Service announced they had locked down the White House due to blank.

ROBERTS: Party balloons.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the Senate passed an equal pay resolution for the U.S. women’s blank team.

ROBERTS: The soccer team.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, it was revealed that Peter Thiel was financing blank's lawsuit against Gawker.

ROBERTS: Hulk Hogan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After hearing eerie noises coming from a nearby grave...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A man visiting a cemetery in the U.K. discovered blank.

ROBERTS: Oh, this is so cute. It was the fox cub with his head stuck in the peanut butter jar.

SAGAL: You're right, Roxanne.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In what's easily the most adorable "Scooby Doo" ending ever, what a man in Somerset suspected to be a ghost turned out to be a baby fox that while trying to get that little last bit of peanut butter - happens to all of us - got its head stuck in the jar, was banging it against a headstone trying to get it out.

ROBERTS: Aww, it was a little girl fox, too. Oh my God, those pictures are so cute, I can hardly stand it.

SAGAL: Yeah. They freed the cub. They gave her a name, which of course was Defiler of Graves.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: It was Peanut.

BLOUNT JR.: Peanut?

SAGAL: OK, fine, tell them the truth.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT JR.: Peanut butter (laughter).

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KURTIS: We must recognize Roxanne's achievement. She got all eight right.

SAGAL: That is amazing.

(APPLAUSE)

BLOUNT JR.: That is great.

SAGAL: And I'm guessing that means that everybody else here has to be pretty good to even have a chance against her.

KURTIS: Almost perfect...

SAGAL: All right...

KURTIS: She got 18 - or 16 more, total of 18 and the lead.

SAGAL: All right, here we go, Luke. You're up next. Fill in the On Wednesday, Paul Ryan said he’s still not ready to endorse blank.

BURBANK: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Scientists are reporting that a patient has been identified with an infection resistant to all blank.

BURBANK: Antibiotics.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, NASA hit a snag while trying to inflate a new habitat on the blank.

BURBANK: Space station.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In order to dispel rumors that their famous panda had died, a zoo in Taiwan blanked.

BURBANK: Tweeted in the form of the panda.

SAGAL: No, they published photos of the panda holding today's newspaper.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Proof of life. This week, Michelle Obama announced that food nutrition labels would now include blank.

BURBANK: The price.

SAGAL: No, added sugar. On Monday, a former McDonald’s CEO said it would be cheaper to hire blanks than to pay employees $15 an hour.

BURBANK: Hire robots.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A carjacking victim in the U.K. was able to identify his attacker...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...And turn him into the authorities when blank.

BURBANK: He turned out to be an adorable fox with his head stuck in a...

SAGAL: No.

BURBANK: ...Jam jar,

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He was able to identify his attacker and turn him into authorities when Facebook suggested that they should be friends.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police in Birmingham had been searching for the man behind a two-month crime spree that included multiple carjackings when one of the victims came forward with the man's name. Apparently, Facebook had listed the guy in a new section felons you may know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got four right, 8 more points, total of 10. But Roxanne has the lead.

SAGAL: All right, so then how many does Roy need to win?

KURTIS: Seven to tie, eight to win.

SAGAL: Here you go, Roy. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. This week, Iraqi security forces retook the town of Karma from blank.

BLOUNT JR.: From ISIS.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, President Obama fully lifted the U.S. arms embargo on blank.

BLOUNT JR.: From Vietnam.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Thursday, a respected Saudi cleric officially prohibited blank.

BLOUNT JR.: Dancing the hoochie coochie.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They've prohibited taking selfies with cats.

BLOUNT JR.: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the NFL announced the locations of the 2019, 2020 and 2021 blanks.

BLOUNT JR.: Super Bowl.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, researchers at Ohio State University warned that...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...People who sit for too long may develop a new ailment called blank.

BLOUNT JR.: Called butt blisters.

SAGAL: So close. It's called dormant butt syndrome.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: DBS is a weakening of the glutes resulting from sitting. As with a volcano, the last thing you want is a dormant butt...

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT JR.: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...To erupt.

BLOUNT JR.: Yeah.

SAGAL: Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He got three right...

BLOUNT JR.: Oh gross.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT JR.: Where is FEMA when I need it?

KURTIS: ...Six more points. He got 10, but he couldn't catch Roxanne with 18.

BLOUNT JR.: No.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists - well, now that we don't need to eat breakfast anymore what people will do in the morning instead.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions - Doug Bear-Goggles Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our house manager is Don Hall. Our assistant house manager is Tyler Greene. Our intern is Fasten Your Seat Isabelts Robertson (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew at Chase Bank. B.J. Leiderman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Robin Linn and Miles Doornbos, with special thanks this week to Ms. Jennifer Mills. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Ann Nguyen. Our production coordinator is Robert Neuhaus. Our senior producer is Ian Chillag. And the executive producer of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is Mr. Michael Linwood Danforth. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.