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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Faith and Negin each have two. Luke is leading with three.

SAGAL: All right. We've flipped a coin. Negin has elected to go second. So that means, Faith, you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Please fill in the blank. On Thursday, Senate GOP leaders unveiled their new plan to repeal and replace blank.

FAITH SALIE: The Affordable Care Act.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Iraqi leaders declared victory over ISIS in the city of blank.

SALIE: Mosul.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Lula da Silva, the former president of blank was sentenced to nine years for corruption.

SALIE: Brazil.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Four hundred and forty pounds of chicken salad sold at Whole Foods was recalled after employees discovered blank.

SALIE: That it contained gluten.

SAGAL: No, that it forgot to put the chicken in the chicken salad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a faculty committee at Harvard proposed a blanket ban on blanks.

SALIE: Oh, final clubs.

SAGAL: Yeah, fraternities, sororities.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, "Westworld" and "Saturday Night Live" led the nominations for the 2017 blank awards.

SALIE: Emmys.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, NASA issued an official statement denying claims...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...That they had a secret blank on Mars.

SALIE: A secret blank on Mars.

SAGAL: Yes.

SALIE: Space station.

SAGAL: No, a secret child slave colony.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The idea that NASA is running a slave colony on Mars for children originated - big surprise - on Alex Jones's "Infowars" show.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's crazy, obviously. I mean, NASA can hardly afford their slave colony on the moon. How could they get to Mars?

KURTIS: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She got five right - 10 more points. She is now leading with 12.

SAGAL: All right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Negin, you are up next.

NEGIN FARSAD: OK.

SAGAL: Fill in the blanks. This week, confirmation hearings began for Chris Wray, President Trump's nominee for blank.

FARSAD: The FBI.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, a blank the size of Delaware broke away from the Antarctic Peninsula.

FARSAD: An iceberg.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, lawmakers from both parties criticized Trump's plan to form a cybersecurity unit with blank.

FARSAD: Russia.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Securities and Exchange Commission charged an MIT researcher with insider trading after he blanked.

FARSAD: Wrote an email about inside trading.

SAGAL: No, after he Googled how to get away with insider trading.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, Reddit, Netflix and other major internet sites took part in a day of action for blank.

FARSAD: Net neutrality.

SAGAL: Net neutrality, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An Oklahoma man was arrested for assault this week...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After a fight broke out over blank.

FARSAD: A bag of Cheetos.

SAGAL: No. They got into a fight over which was better, Star Trek or Star Wars.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to police, the two men got into a shoving match, put each other in headlocks and eventually brandished knives all because of an argument over whether Star Trek was better than Star Wars. When officers arrived in the scene, they arrested the guy who started the fight but not before they were able to get both men to come to an agreement that the "Battlestar Galactica" reboot was pretty great.

(LAUGHTER)

FARSAD: It was.

LUKE BURBANK: Yeah.

FARSAD: Yeah.

SALIE: Yeah.

SAGAL: I feel like that was, that day, the easiest fight for the police to subdue.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. How did Negin Farsad do on our quiz, Bill?

KURTIS: Four right, eight more points, total of 10. That means Faith still has the lead.

SAGAL: That's tremendous. All right. How many, then, does Luke need to win?

KURTIS: Five to win. Count them out.

SAGAL: All right, Luke, here we go. This is for the game.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Wait, is counting to five one of the questions?

SAGAL: No.

SALIE: Do it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: What are the first five numbers? Go. No, here we go. This is for the game, Luke. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, President Trump arrived in blank to discuss cybersecurity and counterterrorism.

BURBANK: Paris.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, MSNBC host and former GOP congressman blank announced he was leaving the Republican Party.

BURBANK: Joe Scarborough.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Liu Xiaobo, a Chinese dissident who won the blank while in prison died at the age of 61.

BURBANK: Nobel Prize.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, on a flight from Melbourne to Perth, an Australian man's only piece of checked luggage was blank.

BURBANK: A bathing suit he calls the banana hammock.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It was a can of beer that arrived safely. This week, investors were concerned when shares in the photo messaging app blank dropped below their initial IPO price.

BURBANK: Snapchat.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a woman in Louisiana was arrested for drunk driving after she blanked.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

BURBANK: After she tried to drive her car into a bar and ordered a hurricane.

SAGAL: No, after she drove drunk to the police station to bail out her friend who was in jail for drunk driving.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: That sounds about right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: According to the Slidell Police Department, an officer pulled over a group of friends for driving under the influence, arrested the driver and sent the passengers home in a cab. About an hour later, one of the passengers, who was still drunk, got in a car, drove to the police station and tried to bail her friend out. Instead, she was also thrown in jail. Fortunately for both of them, a third friend arrived to rescue the whole lot of them and managed to pass the breathalyzer test because she was high on snortable chocolate.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Luke do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He needed five, but he got only four.

SAGAL: Oh, no.

KURTIS: Total of 11. That means Faith is our champion this week.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.